Rare double feature: Earth, The Bees... and Dr. Pepper vs. Chinese Democracy

To jump back to a release from February, Earth’s The Bees Made Honey in the Lion’s Skull is a little something a friend picked up on impulse last week and had the kindness to share with me. But before I can dig into this one, I need to clear the dust out of my eyes, because this album is all about the desert.

To my ear, this album sounds like Crime & The City Solution with the lyrics taken out and the band getting stuck on the same riff and beat for seven minutes at a clip (although some associates say it reminds them of The Dirty Three, but I’m not too familiar with The Dirty Three and thus can’t make the comparison). Through the repetitive tracks, the music conjures images of nomadic outlaws and long desert journeys. However, likening The Bees… to a “soundtrack to a Western that was never made” is so commonplace that it’s downright cliché by now. It seems like quite a few bands are going for this sound, and it’s a trend that I’m not particularly fond of. “Enough with the Ennio Morricone worship!” cries out my friend as we sip beer in his kitchen.

Actually, as much as I don’t want to make the comparison, The Bees… reminds me of certain aspects of the score to a John Carpenter film rather than Morricone’s Spaghetti Western soundtracks. Think of the bass line that ran through They Live^*.

To be honest, I’m not quite sure what to make of this overall. I’m resisting the urge to ding it for the feeling like we’re meandering around without any direction, but to do so would admit that I’m missing the point of Earth’s chosen genre. Drone music doesn’t exactly pride itself on catchy beats or soaring solos, and, considering Earth is doing a rather splendid job of creating a strong atmosphere as is, we have to question whether we would want them to do such things with their music. The album is potent as is, so mucking it up with something as gaudy as lyrics would be dreadfully insulting. On the other hand, it doesn’t reach out into anything too bizarre or unusual that might earn the moniker of “experimental.” Despite how boring I thought the majority of the album is, I have to say, I particularly liked the closing (and title) track with piano adding to the established atmosphere.

The album comes packaged in a jewel case in a slip case, and “gloss” is the word of the day as far as The Bees… goes. The slipcase is gloss black with embossed gold lettering, and the liner booklet is printed on high gloss paper. While very pretty, I’m afraid I have to ding it because anything glossy is begging to be coated in the fingerprints of curious children, drooled on by the dog, and pawed incessantly by jerks who write online music reviews. Okay, I’ll admit, I’m being unfair. The whole package is quite beautiful and the artist who did the cover (see above) deserves a lot of credit for the absolutely fantastic painting adorning this album.

The Bees… is the sort of album that requires a company of good friends to gather and enjoy it together over conversation. Unfortunately, I’m the dreaded misanthrope and listening to it here by myself is detrimental to the effect. Despite these misgivings, I found it to be a pleasant overall experience and put it on the recommended list, but be aware of what you’re getting into before hitting the register.

Earth official website and myspace page


^*I imagine you want to kill me now for getting that stuck in your head. I’m laughing evilly. Because I’m evil.

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Dr. Pepper did something that peer pressure never succeeded at: making me excited about a Guns N’ Roses album. But not for the music; I'm in it for the free soda (as long as I don't have to buy the album).

We’ve all been waiting for Chinese Democracy since the early 1990s. Actually, you have all been waiting, since I have long felt that if I wanted to listen to Guns N’ Roses, I could effectively simulate the experience by going out back and strangling a cat. I despise Axl Roses’ “singing,” always have and most likely always will.

But it seems that someone high on the corporate ladder at Cadbury Schweppes is a big fan and terribly impatient, or perhaps they just want to get it done and over with, because Dr. Pepper is offering everyone in America (except Slash and Buckethead) a free can of Dr. Pepper if Roses’ long-awaited slushbucket comes out this year. Any time this year. I have to say I’m quite amazed. Makes me wonder if this is the result of some bigwig’s bet (or an elaborate hoax, or a product tie-in).

I don’t see why Slash and Buckethead are excluded from the free drink offer. Creative differences happen; you can’t really hold it against anyone for not wanting to deal with that egotistical prick. But what of the whole cavalcade of other ex-GNR members, such as Duff McKagan and Steven Adler? Speaking of which, one of the things which annoys me to no end is when everyone leaves a band except one guy, and that one glory hog continues under the original name with a seemingly never-ending revolving lineup of temporary bandmates. It doesn’t really strike me as being the same band when only one person is left. If the lineup change happened gradually over many years and releases, I wouldn’t mind.

Being an obsessive perfectionist doesn’t bother me, since I’m one myself, but there has to be a point when you say, “enough is enough.” Axl, Geffen, put out the damn record already so we can get over it. However, I can understand the fears at label bigwigs' offices. Considering it’s been 13 years since GNR had a new release, and there has been much patience among the fans, I trust Axl is well aware that if Chinese Democracy isn’t the single greatest musical achievement of the human race (for at least the 21^st Century), then a large percentage of the world population is going to do unspeakable things to his derriere.

Check it out at CNN Money

R.E.M., Accelerate

Some of you may be wondering why most of the material I review receives good (or at least not horrendous) write-ups, and that has to do with the fact that I have to fork over my own money for these albums. I have no intention of wasting my hard cash on something that sucks solely so I can spew obscenities in its general direction, unless we’re talking about a random impulse buy that I have no idea what I’m getting into. The only time I have the opportunity to flex my bile duct is when the album lands in my lap for free, I borrow it from someone, or when the band has the kindness to post the whole album online on their myspace page or some other website with streaming capability. Thus, I would like to thank Michael Stipe and company for putting all of Accelerate on iLike.com so I can at long last tear something to shreds for my own personal amusement without having to pay for it.

I have to confess that I am not very familiar with most of R.E.M.s catalogue aside from the standard radio singles that we all grew up with in the 90s. I remember thinking that they were good, but nothing R.E.M. did really lit a fire under my seat strong enough to run out and pick up any of their releases. I understand that back in the 80s they were far more experimental and darker until they made the jump from underground alternative to mainstream, radio-friendly alternative. In some ways, this may be an attempt to backtrack to when they were a bit edgier.

Accelerate is populated by guitar-driven rock that comes off fun as long as you ignore the fact that this is the band that brought you “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” and “Losing My Religion.” Not so much bad as it is unexciting. Bland, generic, boring. Point in fact, the first four tracks feel more like Counting Crows songs, if anything (which reminds me, they have an album out today, if you’re so inclined). I had trouble paying attention until “Houston” came on, which is of the semi-folk variety and not a bad song, but still suffering from the blandness of the rest of the album and far too short. As a matter of fact, every track on this album is short; the whole thing runs about 34 minutes. I suppose I should be thankful, as that means I don’t have to put up with it for very long.

Aside from the afore-mentioned “Houston,” the only other track that caught my attention (in a good way) was “Until the Day Is Done,” which also follows in the semi-folk vein. Even then, it was still rather unimaginative. Just about every track feels like it has been done before at least a decade ago, and done better by someone else. By the time I was three tracks away from the end, I had to go run for a refill of coffee lest I fall asleep across the keyboard. “I’m Gonna DJ” is probably the most annoying track I’ve heard all year.

I decided for this review that I’d go and find out what other reviewers were saying about Accelerate. I actually found this to be quite helpful since I was so busy being bored by what I was hearing that I completely missed the political overtones to certain tracks on this album. On that note, thank you David Fricke of Rolling Stone for your glowing review of this album and providing me another reason to dislike it. While I don’t mind politics too much in music, I do have a problem when it takes over and turns the record into a flaming pile of vomit. That doesn’t really happen too much here (or maybe I missed it due to consciously trying to ignore what was coming out of the speakers), but I want to take the opportunity to stand on a soapbox and voice an opinion. I’m really tired of aging alterna-rockers running around, waving their fingers at the government, and then playing before audiences cheering at their “edgy” stance and patting themselves on the back like they’ve done a good job and changed the world. NEWSFLASH: BOMBS ARE STILL BEING DROPPED, SOMEONE’S DYING PAINFULLY SOMEWHERE, AND YOU’VE DONE JACK ASIDE FROM SELLING SOME RECORDS. This preaching to the choir is getting so annoying that it leaves me somewhat flabbergasted that both popular and underground musicians are still beating that tired drum. Yes, we all know that Dubya is the unholy spawn of Satan and Carol Channing; you don’t need to reiterate it every bloody three months with another “feel-good-because-we’re-saying-something” album from some has-been rocker.

I don’t know about you, but when I put a CD in the player, I want to be thrilled, moved, or have the chair pulled out from under my chunky buttocks so I am forced to dance. Accelerate did none of the above. If anything, it made me think of other alternative and indie rock albums that did a much better job and kept my interest all the way through. Maybe I’ll come back to this and think more charitably about Accelerate some time in the future, but until then, I’ll be digging around for something else to listen to.


Go listen to it yourself at iLike.com and tell me I’m a knob.
R.E.M.’s official website and myspace.

A Place To Bury Strangers

As you all know by now, I’ve been trying to keep to new releases in these reviews; however, the post office is either slacking or whoever is shipping the CDs on the other end doesn’t understand the relatively new concept of the mailbox. Therefore, I’m going to reach back to one of last year’s releases and discuss the eponymous A Place To Bury Strangers album.

Reviews all over call A Place To Bury Strangers "The Loudest Band In New York." I can hardly disagree with that sentiment, since the sheer volume, distortion, and feedback caused great digestive unrest when I saw them perform at Crash Mansion in 2006. It was worth every minute that I can only dimly remember (damn that open bar).

Through the feedback and layered effects of his guitar, the voice of frontman Oliver Ackermann seems to have journeyed through a long tunnel, or echoed out of a century's worth of rusty coffee cans. Blending the chaos is Jono MOFO's bass. Meanwhile, the crash of JSpace's drums pound the listener into the ground. The room shakes; the world feels like it is crashing down on your head. It’s the sort of distortion-driven noise rock that has been sorely lacking in modern rock music, and, for the most part, it seems to be welcomed with arms (shakily) open.

Of the ten tracks on this disc, I cannot say that a single one is bad. I’m not particularly crazy about “To Fix The Gash In Your Head,” but I seem to be the minority in regard to that. I’d list my personal favorites aside from that track, but it’s simpler to say “everything else.” If there is any flaw, it lies in my desire to hear more. Despite the fact that the album runs about 40 minutes, it always feels too short. Other than that, it’s an absolute delight of brain-crushing thrash from start to finish.

This album is also available on a limited vinyl pressing through Important Records, but demand has been high enough that it has seen at least one reprint run. If you are like me and obsessively need to support this mind-shattering blast of pure sonic assault, then pick that up while you can.

If you are interested in Ackermann's distinct guitar sound, you should know that he designs and builds effects pedals, which you can purchase at deathbyaudio.net. Personally, I start drooling every time I look at Death By Audio. If I ever build up the cash for a guitar (or any other instrument^*), then that is my next stop.

A Place To Bury Strangers Official Website
Myspace page
Buy the vinyl at Important Records
Buy the CD at Brainwashed

^*I’m dying to know what a theremin would sound like through Death By Audio’s signature pedal, the Total Sonic Annihilation.

Snarky Opinions, Issue 1: "Indie"

I've been trying to do two entries a week, updating on Tuesday and Thursday, but due to the post office not wanting to let go of my copy of Haale's No Ceiling, I'm afraid that I don't have many options open for today other than reiterating my love of Midnight Boom (justifiably this time, since I actually have it now) and diving into that dreadful ocean of shittiness that is opinion articles. So, let's take a swim.

Question: I know that I'm an archaic creature (so archaic that I should be in your car's gas tank right about now), but when did "indie" stop being an abbreviation for one's contract status and became a genre in and of itself?

I never really noticed this trend over the past few years, aside from my old college town being invaded by skinny (read: anorexic) 18-22 year-old boys wearing prepubescent girls' jeans, but just recently this bizarre transformation became apparent to me. I was wandering the grand sanctuary of the misanthropic elitist bastard (i.e. the internet) looking for new and interesting music and stumbled upon a band by the name of The Hush Sound. While I wasn't really impressed with what I heard from samples online, and thus did not seek out to purchase their album that came out today, something I saw on their myspace caused some alarm. The background image at the top of the page stated "Available Now At Target® for $9.98 (Limited Time Only)." However, I couldn't help but notice that under their genre labels, they were listed as "indie."


Now, I realize that, quite often in this crazy world we live in, the label applied to something can change in definition. It's all part of the mutation of language. I understand. I'm cool with that. But to have a special deal at a major retailer on your latest musical contribution undermines one's credibility as an "independent."

Before you all jump on me calling me a smug indie-hipster-elitist freak, note that I couldn't care less who prints a band's albums. You make good music, you sell it; I don't begrudge anyone for making money off of hard work. You hit the big time, congratulations. However, I do find it ridiculous to use the indie trend as a marketing strategy, as paradoxical as that seems. Then again, I seem to be under the anachronistic idea that "independent" means "free from corporate attachments."

Note also that this isn't the first time I've seen something like this. The major labels are signing numerous bands with the general aesthetic of the "indie" subculture, not much unlike when punk was co-opted by companies selling leather jackets. The point was missed by the corporate heads then, and not much seems to have changed. Find what's popular, and make it easier to sell. I suppose you can't begrudge them too much; they are trying to stay in business after all.

One last thing to mention: don't spell "indie" with a "y." "Indy" is a much-loved fictitious hero that we can all look up to as the rugged standard of American manliness. Confusing him with some scrawny music nerds obsessed with obscurity makes him mad. And you don't want to see Indy mad.




Webcomic cropped and mutilated from Diesel Sweeties

1st impression: The Kills, Midnight Boom

The Kills’ Midnight Boom was so good I held off going to the bathroom until it was done, despite the fact that I really had to go. Squirming in my seat, alternately from excitement about the music and the building pressure in my bladder, I just couldn’t bear missing one minute. Now, I know bugger all about this band aside from sitting here and listening to what’s coming out of the speakers, but really, when the music excites you, what else do you need to know?

The music is of the garage rock/lo-fi indie variety, with elements of pop, punk, electronica and other little experiments including hand claps and coughed-up lungs working their way into the mix for sh**s and giggles. With Midnight Boom, it’s hard to pick out favorite tracks since they’re all so short. By the time I come to the realization, “I like this song,” it’s over and the next one is halfway through playing. The songs themselves lend some difficulty to pigeonhole this into any one genre, which I don't mind in the slightest; I'd rather a band take some chances than bore me with a lack of variety. However, while the majority of the album is busy kicking you in the pants repeatedly from odd angles, the last track, “Goodnight Bad Morning,” is a quiet little acoustic number and a really nice way to close out the album. Everything else, though, insists on grabbing you by the throat and not letting you go.

I’m putting this down as a first impression rather than a full review since I don’t have the actual album in my hands. The entirety of Midnight Boom is posted on the band’s myspace page, and it’s rather detrimental to the experience to jump back and forth between Firefox and a review in progress. Since you can go listen to it yourself, a review seems rather pointless, but I wanted to at least gush for a little about how much I am enjoying what I’ve heard.

My only complaint is that the album is only slightly over a half an hour long. I prefer albums to be around 40-50 minutes so as to really get into the music. Some really good tracks on Midnight Boom, such as “M.E.X.I.C.O.,” are criminally short. But what the hell, it doesn’t overstay its welcome, and gives you a one-two punch in the kidneys before pissing its name on your music collection and skipping away merrily. I’m looking forward to this release on Tuesday, March 18^th, and I hope you are too.

The Kills official website
The Kills myspace page

The Gutter Twins, Saturnalia

This afternoon’s impulse buy was motivated solely by the fact that I looked over and saw that one half of The Gutter Twins is Greg Dulli, a musician known for his work with The Afghan Whigs and The Twilight Singers. I can’t say what motivated me to pick up this new project’s first release from March 4^th of this year considering what little I’ve heard of Dulli’s earlier bands didn’t excite me in any sense. Maybe it was the decidedly artistic and somewhat unsettling cover image (it’s up and on your right, in case you didn’t notice) that drew me to the bottom shelf of Borders’ new release section that for some anomalous reason keeps moving all over the store.

So, Saturnalia, the first release from the collaboration of Greg Dulli and Mark Lanegan, struck me as a bit of a mixed bag. Some songs are folky, some are alternative rock, almost all are dark and moody. Up to the third track, “All Misery/Flowers,” each song had a smokey-vocal and somewhat glum progression. The next track, “The Body,” broke out the acoustic/folk sound, only for the following song, “Idle Hands,” to signal another change in tone, this time to a more rock sound. “Who Will Lead Us?” has more of a folk/country sound to it, a style that I have little love for, but they pull it off. I give them a lot of credit for providing some variety on this album, since I can’t stand a music act that essentially writes and records the same song twelve times and calls it an album.

However, I can’t help but feel a little bored listening to Saturnalia. It’s not that the album is bad; it’s just that it doesn’t do anything that really fires me up and gets me excited to listen to it. The only song that got on my nerves was “Each to Each,” which came off like some weird trip-hop thing that simply doesn’t mesh with the rest of the album. Maybe I’ll learn to like the album as a whole more on subsequent listens.

The album art is also a mixed bag. I really like the front and back cover of the digipak, but several of the inner booklet photos are shot with that grotesque yellow/green filter that makes everything look like a shitty Hollywood horror flick that gets tons of advertising and only mediocre sales. Unfortunately, these are the photos of Dulli and Lanegan, and the filter somewhat mars their devilish good looks. There are no lyrics printed in the booklet, but we do get a listing of all performers that performed for each track.

Overall, I enjoyed Saturnalia. It’s quite competent at what it does and, I will confess, has me curious about what these fine musicians have in store later on, should they continue this project. While it’s not sitting on the top, it’s not deserving of being cast to the shredder. Nothing to run madly to the store to pick up, shoving old ladies and small children into traffic on your way, but definitely worth a listen, even if you aren’t a fan of the prior work of either of these musicians.

The Gutter Twins official website
The Gutter Twins myspace page

Under Construction

Greetings all. Despite the fact that the world needs another music blog the same way I need a hydrochloric acid enema, I have set this up to rant and rage about new music releases as they come into my cash-strapped hands. As such, updates might be sporadic, but expect at least a few.

If you are in a band and are under the impression that a review might help your exposure, send me an email and we'll work out some method of getting your music into my hands so I can either praise it or slash it to ribbons. Don't feel that you need to be on a major label, or even a minor label, to get a review. I am willing to write about anyone's music provided they send it to me.

More entries will follow. Until then, wait patiently.