Showing posts with label Chinese Democracy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chinese Democracy. Show all posts

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Snarky Opinions, Issue 6: Geffen Needs Your Money

My friend Kevin recently posted about how he feels that neither Geffen nor Beck need his thirteen dollars in exchange for Beck's new album. I disagree, at least with regard to the record label. Geffen really does need you money. Otherwise, how are they going to stay in business with all the money wasted on Chinese Democracy for the past decade and a half?

He also posted this picture a couple days ago:


The real thing, or the miracle of Photoshop? Only time will tell.

Now, I've already discussed my dislike for Guns N' Roses; I need not reiterate how annoying I think Axl Rose's hideous caterwauling is. But I actually hope that Chinese Democracy, when it is released (if ever), does well in sales. Otherwise, Geffen will be really f#cked, and I don't want them f#cked like that. Well, not until I finish my collection of Sonic Youth albums, that is. After that, I don't really care. Yes, I'm being a bit selfish today.

That's all I got, really. No other major opinions.

Until next week, my little chickadees. As your attorney, I advise you drink heavily and enjoy much grilled goodness on the day of our nation's birth tomorrow. If you are a reader from a nation other than the US of A, then go grab a pint or two anyway.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Rare double feature: Earth, The Bees... and Dr. Pepper vs. Chinese Democracy

To jump back to a release from February, Earth’s The Bees Made Honey in the Lion’s Skull is a little something a friend picked up on impulse last week and had the kindness to share with me. But before I can dig into this one, I need to clear the dust out of my eyes, because this album is all about the desert.

To my ear, this album sounds like Crime & The City Solution with the lyrics taken out and the band getting stuck on the same riff and beat for seven minutes at a clip (although some associates say it reminds them of The Dirty Three, but I’m not too familiar with The Dirty Three and thus can’t make the comparison). Through the repetitive tracks, the music conjures images of nomadic outlaws and long desert journeys. However, likening The Bees… to a “soundtrack to a Western that was never made” is so commonplace that it’s downright cliché by now. It seems like quite a few bands are going for this sound, and it’s a trend that I’m not particularly fond of. “Enough with the Ennio Morricone worship!” cries out my friend as we sip beer in his kitchen.

Actually, as much as I don’t want to make the comparison, The Bees… reminds me of certain aspects of the score to a John Carpenter film rather than Morricone’s Spaghetti Western soundtracks. Think of the bass line that ran through They Live*.

To be honest, I’m not quite sure what to make of this overall. I’m resisting the urge to ding it for the feeling like we’re meandering around without any direction, but to do so would admit that I’m missing the point of Earth’s chosen genre. Drone music doesn’t exactly pride itself on catchy beats or soaring solos, and, considering Earth is doing a rather splendid job of creating a strong atmosphere as is, we have to question whether we would want them to do such things with their music. The album is potent as is, so mucking it up with something as gaudy as lyrics would be dreadfully insulting. On the other hand, it doesn’t reach out into anything too bizarre or unusual that might earn the moniker of “experimental.” Despite how boring I thought the majority of the album is, I have to say, I particularly liked the closing (and title) track with piano adding to the established atmosphere.

The album comes packaged in a jewel case in a slip case, and “gloss” is the word of the day as far as The Bees… goes. The slipcase is gloss black with embossed gold lettering, and the liner booklet is printed on high gloss paper. While very pretty, I’m afraid I have to ding it because anything glossy is begging to be coated in the fingerprints of curious children, drooled on by the dog, and pawed incessantly by jerks who write online music reviews. Okay, I’ll admit, I’m being unfair. The whole package is quite beautiful and the artist who did the cover (see above) deserves a lot of credit for the absolutely fantastic painting adorning this album.

The Bees… is the sort of album that requires a company of good friends to gather and enjoy it together over conversation. Unfortunately, I’m the dreaded misanthrope and listening to it here by myself is detrimental to the effect. Despite these misgivings, I found it to be a pleasant overall experience and put it on the recommended list, but be aware of what you’re getting into before hitting the register.

Earth official website and myspace page


*
I imagine you want to kill me now for getting that stuck in your head. I’m laughing evilly. Because I’m evil.

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Dr. Pepper did something that peer pressure never succeeded at: making me excited about a Guns N’ Roses album. But not for the music; I'm in it for the free soda (as long as I don't have to buy the album).

We’ve all been waiting for Chinese Democracy since the early 1990s. Actually, you have all been waiting, since I have long felt that if I wanted to listen to Guns N’ Roses, I could effectively simulate the experience by going out back and strangling a cat. I despise Axl Roses’ “singing,” always have and most likely always will.

But it seems that someone high on the corporate ladder at Cadbury Schweppes is a big fan and terribly impatient, or perhaps they just want to get it done and over with, because Dr. Pepper is offering everyone in America (except Slash and Buckethead) a free can of Dr. Pepper if Roses’ long-awaited slushbucket comes out this year. Any time this year. I have to say I’m quite amazed. Makes me wonder if this is the result of some bigwig’s bet (or an elaborate hoax, or a product tie-in).

I don’t see why Slash and Buckethead are excluded from the free drink offer. Creative differences happen; you can’t really hold it against anyone for not wanting to deal with that egotistical prick. But what of the whole cavalcade of other ex-GNR members, such as Duff McKagan and Steven Adler? Speaking of which, one of the things which annoys me to no end is when everyone leaves a band except one guy, and that one glory hog continues under the original name with a seemingly never-ending revolving lineup of temporary bandmates. It doesn’t really strike me as being the same band when only one person is left. If the lineup change happened gradually over many years and releases, I wouldn’t mind.

Being an obsessive perfectionist doesn’t bother me, since I’m one myself, but there has to be a point when you say, “enough is enough.” Axl, Geffen, put out the damn record already so we can get over it. However, I can understand the fears at label bigwigs' offices. Considering it’s been 13 years since GNR had a new release, and there has been much patience among the fans, I trust Axl is well aware that if Chinese Democracy isn’t the single greatest musical achievement of the human race (for at least the 21st Century), then a large percentage of the world population is going to do unspeakable things to his derriere.


Check it out at CNN Money